What Truly Makes People Happy

 

Hello, Good afternoon everyone. My name is Ester, At that time I think the whole purpose of life was to pursue happiness. Everyone said the path to happiness was a success, so I searched for that ideal job, a perfect boyfriend, and also a good appearance as much as proper. But instead of ever feeling fulfilled, I felt anxious and adrift. And I wasn’t alone; my friends — they struggled with this, too. Eventually, I decided to go to every website that speaks about psychology or give some motivation to answer my questions cause I wonder what truly makes people happy. The data showed that chasing happiness can make people unhappy.

And what really struck me was this: the suicide rate has been rising around the world, and it recently reached a thirty -year high in America. Even though life is getting objectively better by nearly every conceivable standard, more people feel hopeless, depressed, and alone. There’s an emptiness gnawing away at people, and you don’t have to be clinically depressed to feel it. Sooner or later, I think we all wonder: Is this all there is?

The studies show that people who have meaning in life, they’re more resilient, they do better in school and at work, and they even live longer. Emily Esfahani Smith, in her book, The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness; she defines happiness into four pillars. The first pillar is belonging. Belonging comes from being in relationships where you’re valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well. For many people, belonging is the most essential source of meaning, those bonds to family and friends.

For others, the key to meaning is the second pillar: purpose. Now, finding your purpose is not the same thing as finding that job that makes you happy. The purpose is less about what you want than about what you give. The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others. That’s how we contribute and feel needed.

The third pillar of meaning is also about stepping beyond yourself, but in a completely different way: transcendence. Transcendent states are those rare moments when you’re lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connected to a higher reality.

The fourth pillar is storytelling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how you became you. But we don’t always realize that we’re the authors of our stories and can change the way we’re telling them. Your life isn’t just a list of events. You can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you’re constrained by the facts.